Making New Traditions

A Rough Year

I went into this holiday season expecting it to be one of the worst ones.  Over the years one by one the traditions that came with Thanksgiving and Christmas had faded away.  Each time a grandparent, sibling or parent passed away we lost a location to go to.  While when we first got married we used to complain about the sheer number of houses we had to try and hit each year during the holiday season, it is significantly worse when you realize there is no one left to serve as an anchor and hold folks together.  There was a time when we would hit three houses on Christmas Eve and three to four houses on Christmas Day, the entire process leaving us drained and grumpy.

This year my Grandmother passed away, the last of these houses left so as we looked forward to the holiday season it was seeming extremely bleak.  It has been hard to watch these households just evaporate once the matriarch passed away.  It makes me feel like a real ass every time I rolled my eyes or sighed a bit too loudly at the thought of having the run the gauntlet of houses.  Ultimately Christmas is a time to spend with your family, and as your family shrinks the holiday feels less meaningful.  Thankfully I am pleased to say that so far the holiday season this year has been excellent.

Making New Traditions

If nothing else this year has been one of forging new bonds and making new traditions.  I know I wrote over Thanksgiving about the excellent dinner we had with my cousin, since neither of us really had a place to go for the big meal.  My hope is we can make that a bit of a tradition, though I hate the thought of having to ask her to host every year.  In any case we took what we thought was going to be an extremely depressing thanksgiving and turned it into one of the best in recent memory.  Similarly tonight we participated in what I hope will be another new tradition.  For years since the passing of my Grandmother and Grandfather on my Dad’s side we have talked about trying to get together for the holidays, but for one reason or another it never quite happened.  Tonight however we had a Christmas gathering not unlike the ones we had so many Christmas mornings.

The awesome thing about it, is that it was a more evolved tradition, in that it became far less about the gift exchange and more about the sharing of conversation and company.  Essentially it is the sort of thing that I wished Christmas always could have been.  Everyone was genuinely glad to be there, and interested in what everyone else was doing and had done since the last time we were together.  There were no awkward interactions, or confusion, just family getting together to spend time with one another.  I hope we can do this every year, because I think it worked extremely well.  On an awesome side note we got to finally meet my cousins long-term girlfriend and she seemed really awesome.  It is also my hope that we can all stay in closer contact this coming year than we have in the past.  If nothing else however we had a really great evening together.

A Very Merry Christmas

I am writing this Christmas eve, so some of the wording might come off a little odd, especially since it is still my intent to post it in the morning before we start travelling to go to more new family traditions.  I just wanted to take a moment to express how much I appreciate you my readers.  It is a strange thing that I do on a daily basis, because most of the time I am talking to myself.  Other times I am keenly aware that I have people watching and listening to what I am saying.  This is one of those times.  I hope you find in this Holiday whatever you were looking for.  Be that time with family, or some really awesome food… or even some much needed solitude.  The holiday in many ways is a thing that recharges our batteries for the coming year, and I hope you all get that much needed charge from it.  You fine folks keep me doing this on a daily basis, and without you reading it… I fear my blog would be a pretty boring place.

As you stare down the barrel of 2015 I hope you all find peace going into a whole new year.  My holiday full of new traditions I think is going to do just that for me.  I’ve had a lot of unresolved anxiety about my relationship with my family, and how precisely I fit into it.  I’ve spent a lot of my time feeling like maybe they really just didn’t “get” me…  but I guess at the end of the day that isn’t really the important part.  The key is that they keep trying to understand me, and keep caring enough to ask how I am doing and what I am interest in.  May each of you find your own place in the world that fits you.  My readers, my guildies, my twitteratti…  you are all my extended family.  So a very Merry Christmas to all of my family out there, and I will talk to you again before New Years to wish you one of those as well.

2 thoughts on “Making New Traditions”

  1. The gift giving really got out of hand in our family last year and it was really starting to bother me. The adults refused to draw names for each other (meaning you would get 10+ presents, and had to buy 10+). I get that presents are fun for the kids, but let’s be reasonable and keep it for them. Most of the adult gifts I would receive were useless to me and/or throwaway/regifts – I know its the thought that counts, but I’d rather that effort and money were donated to lesser fortunate families or some other method of helping others.

    Either way, good perspective on the post as I used to hum and haw and guffaw at it all too.

    Happy Holidays =)

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