Double Fist Caffeine
This morning I cannot guarantee how intelligible my post might be. Granted every morning I could and probably should give that disclaimer, but this morning in particular it is well deserved. I had another one of my trademark nights of insomnia, and quite honestly I am not really sure when I finally fell asleep. At the earliest it was sometime after 1 am, and I have no clue how much additional tossing and turning time was added onto that. That is the worst part about not being able to see anything without your glasses, that not being able to see the clock means you are constantly estimating upwards on a night like last night. Based on my motor skills, I am guessing I probably got around three hours of sleep. The worst thing about nights like last night is the growing sense of dread and anxiety when you realize that what little rest you might have gotten is drifting away from you. The alarm going off is a fixed point that there is no negation with. As a result I am essentially double fishing caffeine with both a big mug of coffee and a monster zero as a chaser. I might even go down and fix another cup of coffee just to give myself that much more of a fighting chance of functioning today.
The problem is nights like last night get no easier as the years go by. Its just that the stakes get higher, and I find myself struggling to bounce back from them even more than I used to. In the past I would take a nap and life would be peachy, the sleep debt would be repaid and I would move on with my life. Now… there is a lingering disconnected state that continues on for essentially the rest of the week. Which means I will continue to need an ever increasing amount of caffeine in order to continue functioning like a normal human being. Not that any of this is really interesting, but it is what is happening in my world this morning and as a result is what is getting written about. Once upon a time I attempted a sleep study… but I am not going back through that again. I went in for insomnia… and the doctor was damned certain I had sleep apnea. Those are two vastly different things… my problem is not that I am sleeping too much or too sleepy… my problem is that I cannot shut my brain off to go to sleep. As a result I am kinda gunshy about trying to resolve these issues.
One of the things about this recent tour through the Star Wars the Old Republic class stories, is the fact that none of these characters are freshly rolled. At some point over the last four years I have created each of these characters and made decisions that I might not have wanted to make. Namely when I rolled a Sith Inquisitor for some reason I decided going Sorcerer was the best possible idea, instead of the more comfortable melee options. In all honestly the class itself is enjoyable and I am having a blast shocking the shit out of things, but the problem is… my tanky companion feels extremely squishy right now. I am not sure if this is a side effect of Khem Val in particular, or if it is more the fact that I am not quite so grossly over leveled on this play through. Tattooine was an extremely short planet, and as a result I am not pretty much sitting at exactly the level of my next quest. I am also a few levels from my traditional mod swapping point, so my gear is getting a bit dated. In fact as I am sitting here sorting this out in my head… I should have swapped gear a level of go if I am going by my normal pattern which in itself might account for the extremely squishy nature. Basically I have been upgrading every other set of mods… so I am using level 21 mods, and was shooting for level 33 to upgrade… when in reality I should have upgraded at 29.
The other thing I am considering is a swap over to using Treek instead of Khem Val. Not sure why but the Jedi style tank companions in this game just feel squishy compared to the trooper style ones. Bowdaar felt similar, when I have tried to use him in the past. Treek on the other hand seems to have this amazingly useful arsenal of attacks as well as a really nice AOE stun effect that helps to reduce her damage intake. Additionally Treek doesn’t actually give a shit what I do, and is not constantly judging my power… or sizing me up to potentially eat at a later date. As well as playing a finger wiggler, the big departure with this character is that I was using it to shoot for my first Dark Five character. I won’t like, taking the force lightning [shock] options in dialog trees is kinda fun. I do however feel a bit more disconnected from this play experience than others. Especially with the Bounty Hunter, I could see a lot of myself in those dialog options, and in the Inquisitor it feels like the class is nothing like me at all. I would never be cruel just for the sake of doing it, but in order to max out my dark side points… that is pretty much what I am constantly doing. It feels like this is going to be a bit of a slog to get through, but I am making decent progress. As of last night I am level 30 and on Alderaan, and should be wrapping up the first chapter shortly. I am sensing a pretty big conflict coming up, and will be interesting to get through it.