The Missing Piece


My wife is amazing and if you were expecting a game based post… you are instead getting a second real life post in a row. My wife decided to do this thing in her classroom where each day she would post on the board a note talking about why she enjoyed being their teacher. She likely saw it on pinterest or from one of her other teacher friends but it was a pretty cool idea and a good way to mark the month of February leading up to Valentines day. As is often the case when we got close to go time, she needed a little assistance coming up with something to post on her bulletin board. As I have done countless other times I knocked out something quickly, figured out how to print it across multiple pages and then thought nothing more about it.  The above image is what I came up with and it looked pretty good printed on a nice pink paper that she ultimately cut out to put on the white board.

Each morning I go through a specific routine.  I get up and take the first shower so that she can sleep a little bit longer.  Then I start making the coffee, each of ours to a slightly different order…  hers going in a travel mug because she doesn’t like to drink it when it is piping hot.  From there I venture upstairs and drink my “probably still piping hot but I don’t actually notice it” cup of coffee and sit down to talk to all of you out there reading this blog.  About thirty minutes later my wife hollers up at me telling me to have a good day and I reciprocate.  I wrap up my thoughts, post something to the blog and rush around downstairs feeding the animals and doing whatever else needs to be done before I head to work.  I am very much a creature of habit.


In February however these stared showing up along the bottom of my monitor.  At first I had not really caught on to the scheme because I am dense and also I usually see them first thing in the morning.  Each one a little note, along the same idea as the ones in her classroom but directed at me.  I am hoping that she does not mind the ones I chose to show, because I had to give an example of how cute they are.  This morning I found my favorite candy…  a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg on the Keurig…  in my coffee mug…  and two upstairs in my chair along with a package of heart shaped butter cookies (also a favorite of mine).  The amount of work and detail that she poured into this scheme is both adorable and impressive and while I feel horrible for not coming up with this concept myself…  it’s been a delightful experience.

The thing is… I’ve never quite figured out when she has been doing it.  Firstly she goes to bed way earlier than I do and when I leave my office to go to bed… there is no note.  Generally speaking I wake up when she leaves bed or at least notice it…  and I have not been waking up or noticing it.  Then when I get upstairs after I take my shower…  there are notes or this morning candy.  The only thing I can reason is that she must be doing it when I go to the shower and sacrificing some of her warm bed time to make it happen.  I would think I would hear someone upstairs given how squeaky our floor boards are… but maybe the sound of the shower drowns it out?  Whatever the case it is precious and baffling at the same time.

My wife and I are a really interesting case study of two vastly different people who compliment each other nicely.  There are certain ways where we are very much the same, and others that we could not be more different.  However at the end of the day the two blend together into a more complete human being than what we had before.  I notice this most clearly when she has to travel to go to a convention or something of the sort.  There is something missing the entire time she is gone and isn’t really back until she has returned.  I don’t sleep well without her laying beside me, and the house feels eerie and cold without knowing she as at a maximum a room or two away.  We can be in the same room doing two completely different things…  and still feel connected and happy to be around each other.

Recently I went through an exercise at work where we have been attempting to standardize our interview questions.  One of the ones that was thrown out and ultimately shot down… was something along the lines of “If money was no object, what would you do with your life?”.  The thing is…  I had to stop and think about this because in truth other than maybe shifting the way and where I work…  I really wouldn’t change much.  It really made me realize just how good my life generally is.  So much of that is because I have a amazing partner to go through it with.  Sure we might be deeply introverted and prone to fits of social awkwardness…  but we work.  This is our 22nd valentines day, and in August will be our 20th year of marriage.  I cannot fathom going through this journey without her.  She supports me in the various madness that I find myself engaged in on a regular basis and I try my best to do the same.

While it is cliche’d and the subject of memes…  I wish for each of you out there reading this blog the sort of happiness that I seem to have stumbled into.  Sure I battle depression on a regular basis, but that is the process of malfunctioning chemicals in my brain and not a by product of my generally awesome existence.  My wife fits neatly into the various spots where I am deficient and together we can pretty much take on anything.  The stress of dealing with potentially having to spend significant amounts of money yesterday on home repairs brought this home.  I felt uneasy and unstable up until the point when I had my wife at my side and then I knew that regardless of any of the circumstances we could handle whatever was coming at us together as a team.  So ultimately I hope for each of you that you have someone in your life that makes you better than what you are alone, and that as a team you can take on the world.

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