Avoiding Homeward Path

As I alluded to yesterday, I am still struggling pretty hard right now. While I am not putting in near the hours I was at the beginning of this current crisis, the fact that it continues to drag on over a month into it… is just grating. The only word I have to adequately describe where I am mentally is “weary”. Part of what has helped me deal with all of this is the fact that I could come home and spend a few hours running around the galaxy with my cast of “friends” in Mass Effect Legendary edition. Unfortunately that is now coming to its own end as I have reached the point of no return in the third outing. Essentially if I move the story forward at this point I will be on a downhill slide to the end of the game.

I find myself somewhat wistful about this most recent outing in the Mass Effect universe. This was my first time playing a female Shepard and I enjoyed it greatly, apart from the less than awesome romance options. I’ve learned something about my particular brand of “pan” in that I am just not attracted to traditional straight white guys. If I could have romanced Cortez or maybe even Joker… then possibly. Instead I basically clung to Liara like a life raft in that department. Mass Effect Andromeda has a mod that opens up all romances to all genders, and I am hoping eventually someone figures out how to do one for the Legendary edition because Tali and Jack are far better than anything I had open to me apart from the non-paramour characters of Chambers and Traynor.

It is really interesting how different the three games in the series are. Mass Effect 1 is this very tight and focused adventure with extremely sharply focused storytelling. Mass Effect 2 is this big meandering adventure with a truly staggering cast of playable characters. Then Mass Effect 3 narrows the focus once again and makes everything about this driving conflict of the Reapers trying to annihilate all life in the galaxy. I still after all of this time prefer the second game and its pacing, but I prefer the mechanics and visual style of the third game. There are some pretty staggering cinematic moments that feel integral to the story and not just window dressing.

If I get home at a decent hour, I will focus on pushing the game across that finish line. From what I remember once I start the assault on the enemy base, it is a quick slide to the final moments of the game. As it stands right now… I still don’t have a clue how I am going to finish things up. I know I have three decisions before me and I have more than enough war resources to get the best possible endings down each path. The problem with finishing however is this journey will be over… and right now I have been using the nostalgia that it has brought me to prop me up and keep me from collapsing under the weight of stress. If I wrap things up… I am absolutely going to have to find another big sprawling adventure to dive into in order to keep me focused.

In another side notes… I did 182 pull ups last night that took about 15 minutes of real time and got absolutely nothing for it. If you find yourself down this path… abort because it is SO not worth it. In additional side notes… I am going to try and ease back into blogging again because the entire process is therapeutic for me and maybe will help me weather the storm a bit better. I miss these morning one sided conversations. I hope you are all doing well and I hope tomorrow I will come visit with you again.

MixTape Mondays: Hack The Gibson

Hey Friends! It is that time again, time for another mixtape. This seems to be the only thing I can actually manage to do right now on a regular schedule. Over the weekend we once again failed to record AggroChat in part because I just couldn’t handle human interaction. Work is still in a really bad state and I am not handling the chaos terribly well. The grind has been over a month long at this point and I don’t really see an end to it. During this time however, listening to music has acted as a bit of a solace to everything going on. If this is your first MixTape Monday, the idea is that I used to share mixtapes with my friends and since that is no longer terribly practical… I am doing the next best thing by creating some custom curated playlists available through Spotify or YouTube.

Hack The Gibson

I was not terribly certain what I would actually choose this morning, so I rolled a die and it chose for me. I love the movie Hackers. It is this campy vision of computer hackers that came out at exactly the right time for it to gain traction in my brain. I was a wannabe warez and script kiddie at the time… managed to gain some traction but we won’t talk about that right now. Even then I knew everything that was on the movie screen was pure nonsense… but delightful nonsense. The thing that made the movie really stand out however was the soundtrack. While there is very little overlap between my MixTape and the actual soundtrack… it is more crafted to give the same overall feeling of the movie. How do you represent something like this? With Matthew Lillard as the face of Emanuel Goldstein of course!

The challenge however is while I set out with this goal… the MixTape itself developed a life of its own.

  • From Your Mouth – God Lives Underwater
  • 6 Underground – Sneaker Pimps
  • Fools Gold – The Stone Roses
  • Block Rockin’ Beats – The Chemical Brothers
  • Purple Haze – The Cure
  • Your Woman – White Town
  • Ava Adore – The Smashing Pumpkins
  • Numb – Linkin Park
  • Voodoo People – The Prodigy
  • Human Behavior – Bjork
  • Sour Times – Portishead
  • Teardrop – Massive Attack
  • White Flag – Dido

Listen On Spotify

Listen On YouTube

Listen On Tidal

This MixTape is quite a bit different from what I have generally shared, which I guess makes two weeks now in a row where I have popped out of my general traditional comfort zone. Since I now have several of these created, it is starting to get to the point where I really need to collect them all in one place. Over the weekend I did precisely that and now each time I post a new one of these I am going to close things out with a link to the archives. That way if you started this process late and you are so inclined, you can catch up and listen to the entire series.

Mixtape Mondays: Thinly Veiled Crisis

Hey Friends! It seems that I have gone from being one of the most prolific bloggers to one of the least prolific in record time. I am still more or less trudging through hell on the work front, and as a result it has sapped any energy that I once had for creative endeavors. I miss you all greatly and this time I carved out of my life to talk to you. I need to figure out a way to return to some semblance of normality and maybe attempting to blog again is a good method to get there. The prolific era of this blog was actually spawned as a counter reaction to one of the worst periods of my life up to that point. Part of me is hoping that after I get on the far side of this current phase… I will have a similar upwelling of creative desires.

For those who are not used to this construct, the idea is simple. I create a mixtape and share it with you. For me however the act of creating a mixtape is way more than just throwing a bunch of songs together. I am old school in that nature in that I am trying to build an experience that is enjoyable to listen to in its whole. Back in the day I used to refer to albums that were built in this manner as “listen throughs” which I admit isn’t terribly creative, but they were albums I could just throw on and let play without feeling the desire to skip tracks. My goal with this project is to share with you tiny bits of myself in musical form. I was a creator of mixtapes then and I find the process more or less translates smoothly to an online playlist.

Thinly Veiled Crisis

A lot of the tracks that I have been sharing with you are fairly old at this point dating from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s. With Thinly Veiled Crisis I am cherry picking from some of my favorites in modern rotation but even then there is a bit of a theme. A lot of these tracks remind me of an earlier era, namely in many cases they have this throwback flair to the “New Wave” era of the 80s. Others just sorta felt like they fit into missing pieces. I have been working on this list for a month, adding and removing songs here and there until it reached a point where I thought it was ready for listening.

  • Hard Times – Paramore
  • Once in a Lifetime – All Time Low
  • Blinding Lights – The Weeknd
  • Such Great Heights – The Postal Service
  • Oh My My – Blue October
  • Comeback Kid – Sleigh Bells
  • Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked – Cage the Elephant
  • Kiss This – The Struts
  • Deadline – Grouplove
  • Level of Concern – Twenty One Pilots
  • Serotonin – Girl in Red
  • Soul Meets Body – Death Cab for Cutie
  • Are You Bored Yet? – Wallows feat. Clairo

Listen on Spotify

Listen On YouTube

Listen On Tidal

This one is a bit different than most of what I have been sharing, but still very much represents a slice of my musical tastes. I have to admit one of my favorite parts of this experiment has been the comments I have received. Even if I can’t do other posts right now, I am hoping to keep this going because I enjoy the process greatly.

AggroChat #346 – It’s Foam Diablo

Featuring:  Ammo, Ashgar, Belghast, Grace, Kodra, Tamrielo and Thalen

Tonight we have a second show in a row, which given the state of Bel right now is pretty miraculous.  We are down a Kodra for assorted reasons but we have one of our shows where we have only the thinnest of topics and make a show out of them.  Bel talks about experiencing how polarizing Army of the Dead is apparently as we discuss the expectations of genre films.  From there we talk about Diablo games on the phone and more Mass Effect discussion.  We clear the deck of the topics we have had for a while as we go through the limits of accessibility, scaling content and how rough catch up in games can be at time.

Topics Discussed

  • Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead
  • Phone Diablo Games
    • Raziel
    • Anima
    • Foam Diablo?
  • Mass Effect 2
    • Hover Tank Bad
  • The Limits of Accessibility
  • Scaling Group Content
  • Catch Up Mechanics