Good morning friends. I come to you with a heavy heart this morning because sometimes I get tired of seeing the same shit play out over and over. I wish I could just say it was a games industry thing, but it absolutely is not. If you have no idea what I am talking about then I suggest you check out this post from Bloomberg Law or even this summary over on WoWHead. Here is the important fact that needs to be taken away from this situation and everyone that has happened since the dawn of time. This kind of abuse continues to happen because somewhere along the chain of events there is a woman who was not believed. This person confided in someone and that confidence either kept their mouth shut, tried to diminish the impact of what happened, or just flat out did not believe them. Things cannot change until we accept that it is each of our responsibility to make sure the abused are safe from the abusers.
We need to be better. Our gaming communities need to be better. Our workplaces need to be better. It is around this time that someone generally brings out the “what if it was your wife or daughter” nonsense. It shouldn’t NEED to be that close to home for you to care about it. You should care because everyone deserves to be safe. The thing is, your wife and daughter already have their own history of stories to tell about events that have happened to them. This is happening every day and in almost every environment and needs to stop. I hate having to make public comments, but I also feel like if I don’t use whatever platform that I do have I am failing each and every person that is hurting. If I stay silent, the abusers assume I stand with them, and the abused continue to feel isolated because they question if I am going to hurt them.
So I spent my night alternating between doomscrolling and feeling horrible about the world on Twitter, and tabbing back into my Free Company and feeling good about my friends there. I am doing more with my FCmates and it is enjoyable. Last night Rae, Waffles, and I ended up running a bunch of roulettes together and it was super great. I have enjoyed my time running with random players, but I have to admit that I understand WHY I reached a point where I was mostly just wanting to run with at least a known healer. It felt so great to tank instances last night with a healer I wholeheartedly trusted to keep me alive. Previously I would end up hedging my bets and maybe using a few too many cooldowns just to make sure I survive a pull. With Rae at the helm, I was able to just be the tank I knew I could be.
There is also something special about the role of the tank when the ones you are with are your close friends. Like there is an instinct in me to be protective of my friends. Dungeons are so much more enjoyable when that protective instinct is rewarded in trying to get all of the hatred and protect my party when it is actually people that I care about on the line. That is really when I am most in my element when playing an MMORPG. I like being the tank and I am extremely happy that I have somehow managed to navigate the mental block that kept me from being able to enjoy that style of gameplay for a while. I’ve yet to get comfortable enough to start tanking Trials and Raids through the roulette, but I am sure at some point I will throw myself at those as well.
It is probably strange that I am starting this post the way that I did and then interspersing screenshots and comments about Final Fantasy XIV along with it. The thing is… for me video games are how I cope with the wrongs of the world. It is another world that I can sink into where the problems don’t seem quite so big anymore. I think this is the truth for a lot of people and I really feel for the folks who are reading this news and now feeling like they are cut off from this thing that they loved in World of Warcraft. I myself am struggling with the fact that this weekend starts a new Diablo season, and I am not sure if I feel right participating in it. The pain of that decision however are this is also the time that I and my friend Grace spend hanging out and catching up as we both focus on the same shared goal. It is something that I look forward to more than pretty much anything else on the calendar.
Right now however I just don’t feel right giving Diablo or Blizzard any oxygen right now. The reaction from the company in an official statement last night only made this situation direr for me on a personal level. I know the right thing to do is to say “fuck this” and stop participating in any Blizzard product, but also I know my actions don’t change anything and only serve to damage our “once every three months” binge of “diabbling”. I also deeply feel for my friends who work at Blizzard because the coming months are going to be awful to be there. When something like this happens everyone who was doing the right thing and acting properly is taken down with the individuals who caused the harm. That said it is almost impossible to be in one of these environments without knowing the lay of the land and understanding just who the abusers are.
There is one last piece of advice that I feel like I need to impart. When a situation like this occurs, I hear people talking about the failing of the Human Resources department. What you as an employee need to understand is that Human Resources is not there for your benefit. Sure they are assisting in your benefits or helping you with leave, but their core mission is not to be the advocate of the employees. The role of Human Resources is to make sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing, but not for the greater good. Ensuring that policy is followed takes place in order to limit the legal liability of a given company, which means when a bad situation happens they are always going to side with diminishing the impact of that event. Often times the only way change happens is when one of these stories makes the press, because it puts the company in a posture where they finally have to deal with it.
Thank you <3
Oh yeah, HR is not your friend. Theoretically they should be protecting the company by dealing with serial harassers like Alex Afrasiabi, but when it comes down to a case between an individual contributor and a senior VP who has been around for years and is pals with exec staff, HR will most likely see you as the threat to the company and will work to make you the villain, shut you down, and edge you out of the company unless you have some weight on your side. That means either a company with execs that are actually committed to their policies, the press, or your state/local government.