Convalescence and Cinema

Good Morning, Folks. Last night I managed to get a pretty solid night of sleep with only three wakes, but far enough spaced out that I managed to do some proper dreaming in between. I am not sure if it is related, but this morning was also much better than yesterday, and I managed to breeze through my normal routine with minimal rest stops. This gives me hope that Thursday might just begin the “back to normal” phase and allow me to do the list of things that need to be done around the house that I have largely just pushed off for when I was “feeling better”. As I said yesterday, I am spending a lot more time consuming passive media than I normally do. Even something like an audiobook has been a bit too much for my chemo-addled brain, but seemingly, television and movies hit just fine. I know I have talked in fragments about what my recent consumption diet has looked like, but I figured today I would abuse this topic as a crutch to lean upon as I cobble together a blog post.

I am uncertain how much I have talked about it, but I wrapped up Fallout Season 2 during my first week of lying around and being useless, and it was just about perfect. This is how I want video game adaptations to work in general. They are true to the source material but doing their own thing, rather than trying to retrofit specific events that never quite translate well to the screen. We got to visit New Vegas, years after the events of the titular game, and also, in general, see what has taken place in our absence with the forces in that region, like Caesar’s Legion. What I really dig about this show, though, is the b plot that is showing the events leading up to the end of civilization and how each of the forces in that power struggle was making moves behind the scenes. The first season was absolutely a story of the Vault Dweller arriving at the wild world for the first time, and this one… is a much more nuanced take that is essentially the equivalent of Fallout 2 or Fallout New Vegas that dives deeper into the political structure of that world. Highly recommend both seasons though, and I am amped to see where we go from here.

I generally hate watching series as they are being released, and tend to wait until there is a full season run before diving in. However, with Monarch, I could not help myself, and burned through the first five episodes and then have been catching new ones as they release. I believe the full run is ten episodes, and it will be over the first week of May. I love Kaiju movies, and this show is like the ultimate companion piece to the modern Godzilla/King Kong franchise from Legendary Pictures and Toho. What impresses me the most about this show is its effects budget, because we get proper big-screen Kaiju battles on the regular in these episodes, with a shocking amount of screen time being taken by the big titans. They also continue to flesh out the backstory of Monarch as an organization, zipping between multiple timelines with the brilliant dichotomy of real-world father and son Wyatt and Kurt Russell playing the same character in two eras. I love this show, and I hope it keeps getting more seasons, because it is phenomenal… if you are into this genre.

Another show that I jumped the gun on is Maul Shadow Lord, in large part because I love Sam Witwer and his interpretation of the Maul character from the animated content. I looked it up yesterday, and I did not realize that he played the live-action Maul from the Han Solo movie instead of Ray Park, so I guess at this point, he is just the definitive Darth Maul in the modern canon. What I am enjoying the most about this series is that it gives us a view into a planet that is too small for the Empire to notice… that is, until Maul shows up. There are elements of gritty crime drama happening in this show, as well as the gangland elements, as multiple factions vie for control of the planet. When the Empire comes in, everything changes, and it is interesting to see just how hostile this is for every single player, from the local police force to the street criminals. Against this tapestry is Maul, plotting revenge against those who have wronged him and also attempting to recruit a Padawan as an apprentice. I am six episodes deep, and obviously do not know the totality of the shape of this story, but I am very interested in seeing it play out.

If you check my Letterboxd profile… You will see that I apparently watch a lot of Zombie films. I have no clue why I have such an affinity for this genre, but I do, and seemingly always have. The hopelessness of fighting against unwinnable odds, I think, terrifies me more than just about anything else in horror. Cold Storage is not one of those films, however, and it is way more Kevin Smithian Stoner Comedy, shoved into a fungus zombie package. That is not to say the film is riddled with low-brow dick and fart jokes, but rather the easy-flowing comedic banter of folks put in a bad situation as they unwittingly staff a decommissioned military facility turned self-storage. I also really enjoy the side plot of a pair of grizzled “seen everything” secret agency aging action hero types, getting called back into action to save the day. This could simply be because I myself am rapidly greying and enjoy the irrational wish fulfillment of seeing someone older than me, kicking some ass. On top of all of this, it really is an interesting spin on the fungal zombie trope, and that in itself is pretty cool to see. I had a lot of fun watching it, and I highly recommend it if your sentiments align with mine.

Anyways, that is what I have been watching recently. I have a bunch of media stacked up to watch. At some point, I am going to dive into Daredevil Born Again Season 2, but I am trying to let that finish releasing before I start it. I’ve also got Starfleet Academy that I want to watch at some point, and almost the entirety of Strange New Worlds. I’ve also not watched Wonderman or the modern conversion of The Burbs into a series, and am interested in both. Finally, at some point, I will probably check out A Knight of Seven Kingdoms, even though I have been pretty sour on anything Game of Thrones connected since that series crash-landed so spectacularly. Essentially, I have plenty of media to get me through the next several rounds of chemo hell. That said, is there anything you feel that I should be checking out? Drop me a line below.

Bad At Anniversaries

Good Morning Folks. I am bad at realizing what time of the year it is… and that my blog and podcast anniversaries are approaching. As a result, last Friday, aka April 17th, was the 17th anniversary of Tales of the Aggronaut. The left side of the above image is one of the earliest revisions of the site as saved by the Wayback Machine. Then, of course, on the right side, you have what the site looks like now. I’ve not made any really significant revisions to the look and feel of the site in a very long time, other than to shim in more artwork from Ammo as I commission something else. There was a point where I cared about readership, but honestly, at this point, I view this blog as a sort of outsider art project. You either care about me and what I have to say, or you don’t, and I can’t be much bothered to tailor my writing to follow whatever trends might be happening. Many of you have been with me through the death of animals, the loss of my spouse of thirty years, and now, as I am dealing with cancer. I’ve tried to be as honest as I can be with my thoughts and feelings as I went through all of it. Without really intending to, I somehow built a community of folks who care about me, and I appreciate that so much when things get low.

I also completely forgot to talk about the Anniversary of AggroCha,t the podcast that I started in 2014. This past weekend, we recorded episode 656, and started this nonsense back on April 13th of 2014. Listening to the early episodes makes me cringe super hard, but I think it is more about how different human beings many of us were back then. A lot of stuff had not happened that shook the core of both our gaming roots and, honestly, American civilization, and it shows. Folks have come and gone from the roster, but the original core of Me, Ash, and Kodra has remained pretty rock solid through all of it. It’s only gotten better as we added everyone that represents our current core of Ace, Ammo, Ashgar, Kodra, Tam, and Thalen. At this point, it is way more about hanging out together at a fixed time and talking about discussions that we don’t necessarily make time for at other moments than anything else. For both the blog and the podcast, they are not money-making ventures, nor have I ever wanted them to be. However, I am still pretty proud of us sticking with this for as long as we have.

In gaming terms this weekend, I wrapped up my 36th challenge out of 40 and think that I am going to wind down Path of Exile for the moment. Mirage League was a lot of fun, but I have more or less accomplished everything that I care to accomplish. At this point, I would only be moving forward with the acquisition of currency for the sake of acquiring currency. We should be getting news on the Path of Exile II league pretty soon, and next Tuesday is the drop for the Diablo IV Lord of Hatred expansion. While I have not fallen in love with Diablo IV in the same way as I did Diablo III, it should still be fun to poke around and play with the new Warlock class a bit. I think I have also reached a point where I have wound down my interest in Last Epoch as well. Those seasons are great for a week or two, but I quickly run out of things that I actually care to do, at least much faster than I do in a Path of Exile league. All of the ARPGs are in a pretty great state, and they all become somewhat interchangible for my joy at any given moment.

On a complete whim, over the weekend, I picked up Crimson Desert and started playing that. I am honestly not sure what I think of this game yet. Combat is mostly pretty fun, but movement and the pace of the game in general are a bit on the slow end. The world is gorgeous, and there is a lot of interesting stuff going on. I was not sure what sort of game to really consider this, but after playing, I think it is more akin to something like Dragon’s Dogma. If I had my druthers, it would perform exactly like The Witcher 3, but I do not get what I want most of the time. I am not entirely certain how much I am going to play it, because I have already had moments where the slow pace was a bit too plodding for me. I was also immediately annoyed when Steam popped up the “you should play this with a controller” message, but the game itself performs perfectly fine with a mouse and keyboard. There is a rumor that we are just about to get another expansion for The Witcher 3, and if that happens, it means I am going to drop whatever I am doing and play that.

I have a backlog of a lot of recent titles that I really need to get around to playing. Greedfall: The Dying World moved out of early access to its final release version in March, and as a result, I am now interested in playing that. Greedfall was a deeply imperfect game, but it was doing a lot of things that I really liked. I am also somewhat interested in diving into Star Wars Outlaws and the next part of the Final Fantasy VII reimaginging trilogy. There is also Death Stranding 2, which might honestly be the right sort of game for the weird time that I am going through. I played the first one at the height of COVID isolation, and as a result, it felt deeply poignant. Since I am similarly greatly limiting my exposure to other human beings due to the chemotherapy wrecking my immune system, it might produce similar results. I have more games than I can ever play. If I am being perfectly honest, I just have to figure out something that lands right and brings me joy since I have wound down my old reliable partner in Path of Exile.

Anyways… I have been writing this post for several hours now. I need getting distracted by either work or chemo brain, and figure I should wrap things up. What are you playing right now that is bringing you joy? Drop me a line and let me know.

American Rapture

Good Morning Folks. Have you ever ended up with a book that you have no clue why you have it? That was me with American Rapture, and at some point, I acquired the audiobook version of this… probably on a sale… and probably because I saw someone recommending it somewhere. Last week, I needed something to take my mind off the medical system hellscape that I find myself trapped in, and I thought the cover looked cool and decided to yolo it. This was both a great and an awful decision at the same time. I was not fully prepared for the book that I was about to read. I knew that it was horror and vaguely zombie apocalypse adjacent. These are two things that I do enjoy quite a bit, but what I was not fully prepared for was the unique spin on both.

The novel centers around Sophie Allen, who is an extremely sheltered, ultra-conservative Catholic teen, living somewhere in the vicinity of Spring Green Wisconson. I had family in the Madison area, and have visited a lot of the locations that were mentioned in the book, including The House on the Rock that American Gods also seems to be fond of. Having been there, it is a fucking trippy place, so I get why authors would set scenes in novels there, because it feels like it is a place that cannot really exist. The ultra-conservative Catholic thing is a bit odd for me personally, because here in Oklahoma, the Catholic church that I grew up in was deeply liberal with a borderline Heritical priest that even though I am no longer religious… I owe a lot of my mental development to. Sophie is a twin and lives in what feels like a fairly cloistered community, attending a parochial school, and is eternally scarred by this early moment where her twin brother Noah was ripped away from her. Turns out he had a bad case of the “gay,” was fairly violently shuffled off to some “Sacred Heart” hospital to “cure” him. You could copy and paste this storyline onto Southern Baptist, and it would effectively work the same, so I was able to apply my own personal experience to the tale.

Where things get really fucked is when it comes to the virus. It is sweeping the country, but poor Sophie knows nothing about it… because sheltered by awful parents and has completely controlled access to the internet both at home and through the Nuns at school. So when she starts noticing people getting hot, bothered, and randy… with glassy-eyed stares, she is completely clueless as to what is going on. American Rapture features a plague that is effectively 28 Days Later, but instead of turning the infected into rage machines that want to attack everything in order to spread their “bad blood”, this one makes folks want to aggressively copulate with anything and everything… including their own reflection comically. At this point, you are thinking “Zombies that fuck? Bel you have accidentally ventured into sexytime literature”, and you would be wrong. There is nothing “sexytime” about anything that is depicted in this tale. Sure, there are descriptions of engorged members… but they have more in common with Lovecraftian horror than they do with a dimestore novel. All through the lens of someone who does not even understand their own body, let alone the functionality of sexual intercourse.

If this were all that was going on in this novel, it would be pretty forgettable. Walking Dead, But Fucking is a curious premise… but the end result is way more insidious than it sounds. In a Zombie film, someone has to die in order to turn, but with this virus, they can go “randy” at any moment… making pretty much every place where the remaining law enforcement is trying to corral people into a bad idea. This would be its own challenge were it not for a group called “St. Michael’s Crusaders”, who come from the same religious cloister that Sophie grew up in, and have decided that this is all “God’s Plan”. They have made it their mission to burn the “sinners” by effectively setting on fire every shelter that the ragtag group of survivors seems to find along their path. So we end up contending with random sex machines and zealots in red robes trying to set things on fire… or just use good old-fashioned firearms… in equal parts. I spent a lot of time with this novel, wondering why exactly I was continuing on… only to realize at some point… that it was way more compelling than I expected.

American Rapture at its core… is a book about coming to terms with religion and the awful things that it makes people do. It is a book about what has collectively been referred to as “deconstruction”, as you come to terms with harmful thoughts and ideas that you had been implanted upon you at a very young age, when you had zero control over them. This is largely something that you see in ex-Evangelical circles, but at least in the terms of this book, it focuses on Catholicism. Like I said before, my experiences growing up Catholic were wildly different than poor Sophie’s, but I do get some of the same trappings of my experience. The programming largely missed me, and that was in large part because of said “Heretical Priest” telling me that it was more or less okay to not believe or be uncertain of my belief. I’ve spent my adult life vacillating around various states of unbelief, and I still deal with fairly religious parents who are unwilling to accept this. My wife was Southern Baptist and still deeply faithful, and we came to a level of acceptance that we were each on our own path. I still spend a significant chunk of my Sunday editing the sermon for her church to post it every day, because I understand the role that faith had in her life, and that it is important for some people.

My problem with Religion is the hateful things that people do in the name of it. This book covers some of that, especially when it comes to LGBTQIA+ folks. Realizing I was bisexual has been its own journey, and has frankly taken me further from faithfulness. While the trappings of this tale were way more extreme than anything I ever personally experienced, Sophie’s journey through realizing that she was taught some pretty fucked up things still resonated. Collectively, Horror is one of the best genres for exploring uncomfortable topics, and traditionally, you regularly find it coming to terms with subjects on the fringe of society. So it makes sense why a book about “zombies that fuck” would really be this story about queer folks just trying to survive in the world, and ridding themselves of the harmful notions they were raised under. I am thankful to the online community, because they have been the family that I found a kinship with… when my own was not exactly ready to deal with the thoughts and struggles I was tackling. Maybe there is a world where this book lands in the hands of someone who needs it and can help them start to dissect their own feelings.

Do I suggest you read this book? I honestly do not know. It took a very specific set of cultural experiences for it to really resonate with me, and it might not with you. It was compelling enough that I wanted to devote time on my blog to talk about it. Will this entire experience be deeply blasphemous in the eyes of someone from a more sheltered religious upbringing? Probably… no scratch that, absolutely. It does, however, make me want to track down some other things from this author and give them a spin. I know they run in the same circles as Chuck Tingle, so it makes a heck of a lot of sense the sort of book this ended up being. Camp Damascus is still one of the hardest novels that I have finished, and it took a lot out of me. This was a much more chill experience… minus the gratuitous zombie copulation.

Mixtape Mondays: Mired Moody Mindset

Good Morning Folks. I hope you had a most excellent weekend. Things are a bit weird here because things have taken a turn towards the cold. While I did not get any, my folks who are a bit further north got some snow yesterday. I am still in a holding pattern, but rapidly running out of time. This coming Thursday, I am scheduled to get a chemo port installed, and as a result, I am losing hope that there is a “surgery only” path forward. As a result, I have been in a fairly dour and sedate mood, and this week’s mixtape fits that pattern. I continue to confront the concept of my own death because the thought of being severely immunocompromised, on top of my normally malfunctioning immune system, is some scary shit. I know I can make it through this, and I have started making plans for some things I am going to do when I am on the far side of this. For example, I have a group of friends in the Chicago area, and I want to make a pilgrimage up to see them. I also really want to make the trek down to see “Erasure” in the Houston area, but that was already on the table since that trip got cancelled due to all of this bullshit happening. I figure so long as I can keep some good plans in my mind, I can focus on those while I deal with whatever awful crap I have to deal with in the coming weeks.

28 – Mired Moody Mindset

This mix largely exists because of an anchor song, like these mixtapes often start. I was sitting in the car listening to the radio before going to a doctor’s appointment, and “Sultans of Swing” came on, and I stalled long enough to listen to the entire song. I’ve always liked Dire Straits and specifically that song, and it made me realize that I had not really dived into a lot of the more moody and almost wistful in a melancholic manner style of music that I really seem to love. For example, up until this point, there was not a single list that I felt I could really place Big Dipper by Cracker on, or the song that always brings me to tears… Jimi & Stan by Strand of Oaks. These mixes show you a piece of my soul each time, and this one… drills straight through the core of me. It is through these mixes that I have also found a lot of community with people who have listened to them and struck up conversations about songs that they have not thought about in decades. If I am going to get through this, I am going to need a lot more of that community, which is a challenge given how fucking awkward and introverted I am. Thanks for being here throughout the years, and if you regularly listen to these mixtapes… thanks for sharing in my nonsense. I guess I will stop stalling and get to the track list.

Track List

  • 01 – (Don’t Fear) The Reaper – Blue Öyster Cult
  • 02 – The Chain – Fleetwood Mac
  • 03 – Heroes – David Bowie
  • 04 – Sultans of Swing – Dire Straits
  • 05 – Message in A Bottle – The Police
  • 06 – Who’ll Stop The Rain – Creedence Clearwater Revival
  • 07 – Gimme Shelter – The Rolling Stones
  • 08 – Little Wing – Jimi Hendrix
  • 09 – Big Dipper – Cracker
  • 10 – The Night We Met – Lord Huron
  • 11 – Red Hill Mining Town – U2
  • 12 – Here Comes Your Man – The Pixies
  • 13 – Cherry Bomb – John Mellencamp
  • 14 – Jimi & Stan – Strand of Oaks
  • 15 – The Waiting – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Listen To It Yourself

It feels like I am working through the stages of grief in mixtape form recently. I just might not be going through them in exactly the same order as normal. I might be in a bit of the bargaining phase because I have been doing a bunch of things in the hopes of improving my success through chemo. I know the Tirzepatide that I am on causes muscle loss, so I have started doing a bit of light weight training, and on some level, I am hoping the universe notices that I am trying and gives me a fucking break. It is weird how fast this mix came together, honestly, because some of the songs are ones that I have not really thought about in years, but suddenly popped into my mind as I was assembling this. For example, Red Hill Mining Town is phenomenal, but I had not thought about that since the album it came out on was on regular rotation for me. Similarly, Cherry Bomb by John Mellencamp is a phenomenal track, but it had not popped into my head in decades. I have decided that I will be disowning “The Librarian” though because he referred to this as “Yacht Rock”, and I present that there is not a single Christopher Cross or Michael McDonald track on this list. This is way more thoughtful than that particularly vapid movement of music.

I have a few more posts that I know I want to make this week, including talking about a book that is sort of awful but at the same time thought-provoking enough that I want to talk about it. As always you can see the full list of my mixes over on the archives.

Mixtape Mondays Archive