Favorite Fridays

Favorite Fridays: Jersey Girl

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Good Morning Friends! I hope you are having a most excellent Friday. Some weeks back I had this idea for a new series on the blog where I share some item that is particularly special to me. Up until this point I have largely been talking about items in video games, but this morning we are going to diverge a bit from that format. I am also not nearly as faithful about doing one of these every Friday as I am with the Mixtape Mondays series, but ultimately that was the intent. Sometimes you create a series to give you options for when you are feeling like following that format and that is very much the case with this series.

Jersey Girl

Jersey Girl is effectively the Kevin Smith film that no one remembers, but I am here today to make a case for you giving it the time of day. This will not be an easy undertaking, especially given that it is actually hard to find on streaming services. You are forced to purchase it through Google or Apple or go through the nonsense that is adding Cinemax to your Hulu or Amazon subscription in order to access it. However, I am here today to tell you that this is quite possibly my favorite Kevin Smith film. I like many watched Clerks when I was a teenager and became a fan of his particular style of irreverent “dick and fart” humor. I think I matured with him as I followed his films through a sequence of Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy… each time I feel improving on what made a Kevin Smith film. Jersey Girl to me is the pinnacle of that maturation allowing the tackling of a serious film while still interjecting enough of that irreverent flavor to make it easy to consume.

Both Critics and Fans of Kevin Smith disagree with me however, given that the film has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 42%. Ultimately the film was a “failure” from a sheer monetary standpoint as it cost a reported $35 million to make and only took in an adjusted gross worldwide of just barely over that $35 million. I would say probably a large chunk of that money went to the cast, because it was rather wildly sprinkled with talent for the time. Here is a rundown of some of the major cast:

  • Ben Affleck – Ollie Trinke
  • Jennifer Lopez – Gertrude Steiney (very briefly)
  • Liv Tyler – Maya
  • George Carlin – Bart Trinke
  • Stephen Root – Greenie
  • Mike Starr – Block
  • Jason Biggs – Arthur Brickman
  • Will Smith – as Himself

So what went wrong? Why did this film perform as poorly as it did? Here is my line of thinking.

Problem 1: Bennifer and Gigli

One of the problems with bringing a film to market is that they have a very long lead time. Jersey Girl was originally targetted to a 2003 release date, which was ultimately pushed back to 2004 for reasons I will discuss shortly. That means that more than likely it started pre-production work in 2001 and filmed in 2002… and this was an era when the Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez celebrity coupling referred to as a “Bennifer” was a hot property. However, that changed rapidly after the release of the studio flop Gigli with an estimated budget of $54 million and a Gross Worldwide return of just over $7 million. Jersey Girl went through a few changes, namely the role of Jennifer Lopez was diminished in the advertising and it was pushed back to 2004 hoping that it would offer enough time for the bad press of Gigli to die down.

I think however more than anything the public just did not care to see Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in anything. I am not exactly the type of person that consumes media focused on celebrity gossip, but even then it was impossible to escape people talking about “Bennifer”. I think people just got sick of it, and what was a net positive in 2001 when planning and production likely began for Jersey Girl, was a toxic asset in 2004 when the movie was finally released. Being a follower of Kevin Smith, I knew about the film and was anxiously awaiting it… but I remember it was actually rather hard to get ahold of at the time of release. This is one of the films that was quietly released without much fanfare, and if my memory is correct was only actually in theaters locally for a few weeks. I remember missing it at the traditional theaters and ultimately having to catch it at one of the budget second-run theaters that were popular at the time.

Long story short… Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were not a couple anyone wanted to see at the time.

Problem 2: Clerks Fans

The other core problem the movie had was the fact that it was Kevin Smith’s film. With that came a certain understanding of the type of film the audience was expecting. Prior to Jersey Girl, you had Clerks in 1994, Mallrats in 1995, Chasing Amy in 1997, Dogma in 1999, and the exceptionally campy Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back in 2001. While Dogma and Chasing Amy were significantly better films than the rest, they all followed a fairly familiar formula of putting the “dick and fart” jokes upfront and then weaving a narrative around them.

Jersey Girl was a wild departure of Kevin trying to make a more serious film, with the main character losing both his wife and his career only a few minutes into the film and the core narrative focusing on the struggle of adapting to being a proper adult and the rigors of parenthood. In many ways, I think these were things that Kevin himself was struggling with, and as one of his audience being of a specific age… I was going through these changes along with him. However, there was still a core fandom that did not want any part of a serious Kevin Smith film. It is moments like this that a “cult following” can backfire and discussion of “selling out” starts being mentioned. His legion of fans… ultimately panned this film.

Why it is worth watching

There is nothing about Jersey Girl that is original, in fact, one of the key complaints that I hear levied against it by critics is that it is too formulaic. The thing is… formulaic movies exist in droves and not every film has to be groundbreaking. There is a sub-genre of romantic comedy that centers around an awful guy learning to love through interactions with a heart warming child they are forced to take care of. This worked for Liar Liar in 1997 and Big Daddy in 1999, and I think very much Jersey Girl was an attempt to apply the Kevin Smith style of character-driven comedy to that sort of a film. I think it does so beautifully but also does heavily stack up some tropes. I think it does so in a charming manner that creates an extremely watchable film.

What does it for me though is like all Kevin Smith films, it creates this universe of loveable characters that all interact together to make a plot. There are great performances by George Carlin as the grumpy grandfather with a heart and his two coworker friends in Stephen Root as Uncle Greenie and Mike Starr as Uncle Block. There is a side plot in the movie that Ben Affleck’s character nuked his career over raging about Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and not understanding why anyone was taking it seriously. This is an opinion that I legitimately remember being voiced about not understanding why the “Parent’s Just Don’t Understand” dude was a big deal. It beautifully bookends this concept with an appearance by Will Smith towards the end of the film talking about the only thing that really matters to him are his children.

If for no reason else the movie wins huge points for me for the horrified teacher played by Betty Aberlin of Mister Rogers Neighborhood fame. There is a side gag focused on how every child in young Gertie’s class is obsessed with Cats, and at a talent show EVERYONE is apparently singing Memories from Cats. Instead Gertie performs a talent show rendition of “God That’s Good” from Sweeny Todd embedded above. Firstly it is extremely well done, but the shocked teacher and confused audience are what really sell the scene for me. The film as a whole has all of the Kevin Smith oneliners, but they are just woven together in a narrative structure that is focused on something more meaningful than dick humor.

I personally feel like Jersey Girl deserves more attention than it has gotten over the years. I feel like a number of circumstances not related to the film itself have painted it In a certain light. If you ever have a chance to watch it with an open mind, then I highly suggest you do so. It is absolutely still a Kevin Smith film, but just one that takes a more serious path to get to its humor.

Favorite Fridays – Usagi Kabuto

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Good Morning Friends! This morning I decided to make good on an idea that has been kicking around in my head. Mixtape Mondays have given me an anchor to the week, a focal point to sort of plan the entire week around. I had this idea of a second fixed point, but I am not entirely certain it will be as regular as the Monday offering has become. Favorite Fridays is a time for me to break out something that I love in a game, pop culture, or pretty much anything else I am passionate about and do a deep dive on it. It might be a favorite weapon or a location in a game that I absolutely cherish or maybe even a specific section of quest dialog that I greatly enjoy. Whatever the case it is time for me to explore that item in depth in post form.

Usagi Kabuto

There is one item in Final Fantasy XIV that has become more synonymous with my brand than pretty much anything else. It is a cosmetic hat known as the Usagi Kabuto, or “Bunny Hat” as I tend to refer to it. This single item has spent more time on my head in glamour form than pretty much any other item in the game. The truth is I largely stumbled upon it when I was first exploring the options of what I could use for glamour purposes. There isn’t anything special about it as items go, it is a Kabuto or a type of helmet often worn by Japanese warriors… most specifically associated with Samurai. That is the first thing in its favor because I have always had an attraction to that classic Samurai appearance.

The item first made its appearance as part of the Heavensturn event in 2011 and then was reprised briefly in 2014 as well… aka the first Heavensturn event for A Realm Reborn. Heavensturn for those unfamiliar is the in-game holiday in Final Fantasy XIV associated with the Lunar New Year and as a result, has a heavy association with whatever animal of the Chinese Zodiac represents a given year. For example, we are currently in the “Year of the Ox” and as a result, the Kabutos associated with that event featured an Oxhead. 2011 was the “Year of the Rabbit” which I believe would have been the very first Heavensturn in the original version of Final Fantasy XIV. When the event first game to A Realm Reborn Rabbit, Dragon and Sheep were all available for purchase.

I cannot say for certain what it is about the appearance that really drew me to it. It was however a happy coincidence that pretty much all of the Warrior-specific sets happened to be black and red, which meant the specific version of the Usagi Kabuto that I liked the most matched them perfectly. Over the years I have been a Bunny Warrior, a Bunny Bard, a Bunny Samurai, and most recently a Bunny Paladin. I even have the Gold Saucer-themed bunny ears so that I can craft “Bunny” outfits for things where this helm doesn’t exactly match. I realize that Zepla’s whole thing is calling her community “Buns” but I have been a Bunny Warrior since those early days of A Realm Reborn when we were first exploring this game.

There is just something about being a Lalafell and having a hyper-serious expression most of the time… and wearing a giant bunny hat that makes me happy. So many of my memories of this game… involved a cut scene where I was wearing this exact helmet. I used it so often that prior to the existence of glamour plates I carried around a stack of crystals and the hat on my person at all times so I could glamour over any other appearances.

In fact, I believe that it was “Bunny Bel” that was my very first commission that I had my good friend Ammo work on. It has pretty much graced the masthead of this website since the day it was created. If I was going to single out any specific version of Belghas to represent me as a whole… it would probably be that version. It is the incarnation of me that brings me the most joy, and now that I have come back to Final Fantasy XIV and embraced the bunny once again… my happiness quotient has increased significantly. So when I was trying to think about the single item that I wanted to kick this series off with, it was quickly evident what it had to be.

The only negative of the Usagi Kabuto is that since it has been largely inaccessible in the game since 2014 for some seven years there is now a pretty hefty price tag associated with it. In theory, if the pattern holds, it should make a reappearance during the Heavensturn event for 2023. I am not sure when they started this, but after a certain point, anything that was seasonal was no longer able to be listed on the Market board. It means those first few holiday events have items that fetch a hefty premium. I know both Thalen and Tamrielo made their in-game fortunes by selling housing items that were obtained from those first few events.

Square Enix now uses expired seasonal content as a way of propping up their cash shop, which honestly I feel is fair given that they churn out brand new seasonal events every single year with zero repeats that I am aware of. If you absolutely must follow in my footsteps and join the order of the bunny warrior, you can drop $3 to get your very own bind-on character version of the helmet. It features a slightly different item name, which I assume is to differentiate between the store-bought and market purchasable versions. If I ever got serious about playing on another server I would probably pick one of these up on the market so that I could still be the Bunny Warrior of Light there as well.