Good morning friends… or at least it is still morning as I sit down to start writing this post. I have been struggling the last few days to find purpose when it comes to making a post. As of last Friday I am officially on Christmas break until the new year and finding it hard to keep any semblance of normal pattern going. We’ve been running around and scrambling to do the last things needed to do before the holiday proper and knocking off various things from our list. The biggest of these was dealing with some big expenditures yesterday. Namely my wife has needed new tires on her vehicle for awhile, and like everything else… the price of new tires has gone through the roof. Lastly we had to settle up the very large bill that comes with having a cat in the hospital under constant care for a week.
This last bit really destroyed my forward momentum for the day and I spent the rest of the day being very sad about losing Kenzie again. This ended up translating unfortunately into me being angry about everything all day long… because I sometimes have trouble translating sadness into an emotion that I can deal with on a day to day basis. It is so much easier to feel angry at the little things than accept that I am mired in being completely wrecked still from losing my baby girl. It does not help that both Mollie and Josie have been acting weird… with Mollie pretty much living exclusively upstairs, and Josie living exclusively downstairs. I had hoped that maybe Mollie would ease up and come out of her shell a bit since Kenzie was an antagonistic force. Instead it is almost as though Mollie has reverted back to the kitty who wouldn’t snuggle with us.
In our travels yesterday we went to Gardner’s books, which is a massive used bookstore here in Tulsa. If you are ever in the vicinity, you should totally check it out especially if you are a bibliophile. One of my favorite things are these two Star Wars action figure statutes, that are effectively 6 foot tall versions of the Kenner toy line from my childhood. I am pretty certain that at one point they had a Luke and an Obi Wan but I didn’t see them when roaming the store. This place is just so damned weird and eclectic with an odd blend of lots of different “geek” things all thrown into a single store. I noticed that they suddenly have some Warhammer 40k stuff when I don’t remember them ever having miniatures in the past. They have always been a great source for old RPG source books and such, but I really never know what I am going to find there on each subsequent visit.
As far as gaming goes, I am finding myself playing mostly Final Fantasy VII Remake on the PC. I seem to go through this thing at the end of the year where I mostly play a bunch of single player titles. I should be fighting my way through the queue in Final Fantasy XIV and working on getting my gear score up there… but just the act of needing to plan my play times rather than pop in at a moments notice is sorta harshing my Endwalker buzz. What makes this even more tragic is my friend Grace seems to be super into the game again… and I really need to figure out how to relight my spark in order to do some fun group time activities.
Instead I am finding it way more my speed to chill out and play some single player Final Fantasy instead. FF7R is pretty great and I greatly appreciate the action feel to it. I know that is a point of contention for some folks, but right now… at this very moment it seems to be the sort of game I need. I am hoping I can snap out of this funk that is circulating around me, because I do want to be out there and active for everyone. It isn’t like I have development my mental block around tanking, because I am perfectly find random queuing for activities. It is just that my mental patterns are flowing in a way as to greatly enjoy Destiny 2 and FF7R right now… and less so FFXIV. Here is hoping that changes throughout the break. I never did beat FF7R so I would like to do that maybe now that I have some more time on my hands.