elder scrolls Archives - Page 17 of 19

Micro Voxel Welding

March 1, 2014 by Belghast

Big Damned Beta Weekend

This weekend they seem to have completely opened the floodgates and then some as far as Elder Scrolls Online testing goes. It seems like every person that signed up for beta before a certain point, got their invite this weekend. In addition to that, pretty much everyone who has ever tested got a buddy key. So essentially if you wanted to test the game, you should have gotten your chance this weekend. Admittedly I was more than a bit disappointed to see we were testing on an old version of the client that did not include the changed introduction. In fact it seems like everyone in the test was expecting to see the new and shiny progression. However I love Stros and Betnihk so I am more than happy to play through them again.

I had all these plans of trying to play a caster, but when it came down to rolling one… I just could not bring myself to play one. Instead I am playing “ole reliable” the build I have enjoyed the most up to this point. Dragonknight + Sword and Board and honestly each time I roll one, I perfect my build order a little bit for the next time. You would think I would get bored of playing the same basic character over and over, but instead it just makes me like it all the more. Essentially I have arrived at a point where the very first ability I take is Puncture aka the taunt/armor debuff. Essentially the first ability you place on your bar, means it is also going to be the first skill line you will have available for morphing later on. Essentially my goal in doing this is to get to Ransack the morph of Puncture, which adds a new ability that increases my armor for 12 seconds every time I use it. This makes the ability really good for survival and essentially my opening becomes a combo of Fiery Grip, Ransack… then mostly basic attacks to burn it down the rest of the way.

I just like the feel of playing this specific build, it feels very much like I want a tank to feel. I decided this weekend to cast aside my traditional human builds and go with a proud Orsimer. Normally I rely on swords, but I decided to start crafting him maces… because smashing things seems more fitting an orc…. also I don’t like the orc racial “giant machete” sword graphic. The guild is absolutely insane right now, when I logged in earlier to take a screenshot of my orc, we had 25 members and there are at least five more that have not accepted guild invites yet. Doing pretty great for a beta guild. If you are playing the game add @Belghast to your friends list, and pending we actually know each other… and you are okay with the Three Tenets… I will get you into the guild.

Level 60 Monk Get

I have to say my monk looks pretty badass. I know eventually I will upgrade out of that sword, but once we get the ability to transmog with the expansion, I can totally see dual wielding that graphic. Before the ESO beta weekend madness started, I managed with the help of Warenwolf to push the monk to 60. Really I am happy just knowing I have a character at max level before the expansion, but I can see playing it quite a bit more trying to get paragon levels. Running around in our impromptu groups has really increased my enjoyment of the game… especially now that we are getting some decent loot. It is funny how loot factors into my enjoyment so much, and in many ways the complete and total lack of meaningful loot is what killed my enjoyment of FFXIV once the questing was done.

We tried an experiment that didn’t really work yesterday as well. While I was pushing my way to 60, we had a friend join us in level 60 content with his level 10 character. We thought surely the catch up experience would be amazing, allowing him to fly through the levels. Problem is… he was not alive long enough to really catch the benefit of the xp windfall. Every mob seemed to make a beeline for him, and one-shot poor Banzai. So after getting him three for four levels this way, we opted to switch to our own characters in the teens and play for real. I had not really played my Barbarian much, but playing him I could not think about playing Olaf from League of Legends. At one point I picked up a legendary leaf blade… to which we dubbed him “Growlaf” the plant defender.

Complete and total rabbit trail here… but we started talking about how amazing it would be to have a game like Diablo 3, that instead used the champions we have grown to love from League of Legends. For awhile my friend has talked about how bad he wanted a PVE game set in the League universe… and really this seems like the ideal fit. They really would not have to change the champions that much to make them work in a Diablo setting. Additionally I have already noticed, that post League we all kinda play Diablo like we are laning in League. We move like League players move, especially when we are kiting a bad guy away to try and separate it from the pack. While I enjoy league from time to time, it is really the character design that I like, and not the game itself. If they gave me those awesome characters in a setting like Diablo that I do actually enjoy… I would probably waste innumerable hours playing it.

Micro Voxel Welding

Watch live video from EQNLandmark on TwitchTV

Hopefully this embeds just fine. I wanted to share this because I thought it was really cool. In last Wednesday’s livestream Dave Georgeson showed off a really cool “glitch in the matrix” of sorts that players have figured out. One of the interesting characteristics of the voxel engine that Everquest Next Landmark uses is that it tries to buffer between differences in two objects and naturally fill in the gaps. This can be something really cool or something really frustrating depending on how you use it. Out in the wild, players have been using this to stretch the boundaries of the engine and create something that has been dubbed the “micro voxel” or as Dave calls it in the livestream “pips”.

The idea is to take a single square voxel of the smallest available size and reduce it using the square smooth tool to get a smaller base size to build with. Having a tiny square is not that cool, but what is cool is the behavior you get in the engine when you place two of these beside each other. The engine draws the gap between creating a thin bar. This can then be used to craft really interesting things. In the video Dave Georgeson shows off a steampunky claim that he has created making metal ladders and metal grating in all sorts of shapes. Where I find this extremely cool is what this means for player crafted furniture. In the video he makes a few book cases and desk that looks far nicer than anything I have been able to craft so far.

It does seem like this takes a lot of trial and error… and copious amounts of patience. However at some point I want to get in and start trying to make furniture for my keep. The other really cool thing mentioned is that we will be getting the ability to add on to our claim in the next patch. So at this point I am trying to figure out which direction I want to grow things. I like building large structures, so I was already to a point where I was feeling extremely boxed in. I could very easily grow my existing property out to four total claims. This might be the kick I need to get back in and do more crafting. I am currently hung on a point where I need to farm just truly silly amounts of burled wood to complete all the things I want to complete.

Burn It All Down

February 28, 2014 by Belghast

Diminishing Returns

This morning I am feeling absolutely horrible. My lungs have conspired to rebel against me again, and since there is a good chunk of weather on the way this weekend, I am hoping I can get it under control before then. Yesterday the world was all a twitter about the blog post that Blizzard was going to release at 6 pm PST… see what I did there? Twitter was was full of speculations of what this news announcement might mean. Some predicted the start of Warlords preorders, but eventually Rygarius the coffee bird eventually explained that it was going to be more of a roadmap type post. With that I believe most of our fearless brits opted to get some sleep and just check it out in the morning.

At least I am really hoping that they ended up getting a good nights sleep, because what ended up posted really did not feel like it was worth staying up until 2 am for. Don’t get me wrong I am not trying to disparage the blog post itself, but it was not the shock and awe that players were hoping for. For me personally there were a few things that concerned me. Firstly the tweaking of the Racial abilities. I wholeheartedly agree that some racial perks are better than others… however many of us chose to PLAY those races for that reason. When this goes love will they give everyone a free racial change for each character? Some of the racial perks that I am personally most attached to are some of the fluff ones. For example I am still reeling from the loss of Find Treasure on my dwarves… but not sure how I would feel if we lost Explorer as well. I mean I fully expect to lose Every Man for Himself, but I would hate to lose the fun traits in the process as well.

The part of the post that worries me the most however is the talk of crowd control. It starts off with the statement “One other big takeaway from Mists of Pandaria is that there is currently simply too much crowd control (CC) in the game, especially when it comes to PvP.”. Now are they only talking about removing CC for the purpose of PVP here? Or is PVE once again getting the shaft for the sake of a game I have no interest in? I have to say my favorite era of dungeon running was burning crusade, in part because crowd control was absolutely mandatory. Even in tier 6 gear, you needed to CC or you would die. The problem with that era however was that crowd control was not distributed equitably, and over the years each class has gotten some form of permanent or temporary crowd control. Problem is the dungeon design has just not required doing anything other than smashing into objects with your face repeatedly.

My hope was with the return to Draenor, and the focus on heroics as a way to gear up for raiding… that we would see a return to this more strategic era of dungeoning. However if they feel that Pandaria had too much CC… and by that I mean no one CC’d anything at all EVER… it gives me great concern for what dungeons might look like going ahead. Maybe I am coming off a bit half cocked here, since they did qualify the statement with PVP, but the diminishing returns changes would keep a fight like the PVP encounter in Crusaders Coliseum from really being viable in the future. The one thing I did notice they left completely off the list of diminishing returns mentions… taunt. This was honestly the secret to us beating the crusaders coliseum fight, that the tanks would swap off taunting the hardest hitting mobs and kite them around. A druid taunt, warrior taunt, deathknight taunt and paladin taunt all had unique diminishing returns stacks, so we could swap targets to keep them tied up.

Burn It All Down

As a programmer, I read these changes in a completely different light… because I have been them before. When you get dropped into a situation where you have some severely outdated code, the knee jerk reaction is to burn everything to the ground and build it from scratch. This reaction is in part because no one still exists that remembers why the code worked the way it did. This is what this current phase of Blizzard development feels like. No one remembers why they had hit and expertise and all these other things… so lets just simplify everything and get rid of all things that are not strictly needed. As a programmer I totally get this, because it feels like they are trying to minimize the variables that they have to deal with.

I figure at this point there has been a prodigious amount of turnover in the folks that are working day in and day out on World of Warcraft. The guy that wrote this or that code is simply not around any longer to explain why exactly he named that variable “Football” when it is just passing data around. My fear is that in this minimalistic approach we are going to lose some of the things that make Warcraft feel like Warcraft. I am trying my best not to fall into “change is bad” mode, but in many ways the sequence of changes feels like knocking down a 300 year old building, to put up a mini-mart. Maybe I will be wrong, and maybe the end result will feel fresh and shiny… in the same way that Diablo 3 2.0 has felt for me. At this point… you can just file all of this in a bin called “concerns”.

Fun With Demons

Last night my friends and I continued our trek through the demon infested realm of Diablo 3. The big thing we have noticed is that the game gives players insane catch up experience when the level ranges are not even. This accounts for how I went from 37 to 50 in a night, because most of the players were significantly higher level than that. Last night the experience curve flattened significantly, so during the course of the evening I managed to go from 50 to 58 before I just felt too lousy to continue. As a result however I am knocking at the door of 60 and have no doubts that I will finish off leveling my monk before the expansion. Granted most of this weekend will be spent in Tamriel playing with the multitude of folks who are getting in for the weekend test.

We managed to get a second puzzle ring, so for most of the evening both myself and my friend Warenwolf were running around with our treasure goblin pets. We managed to get a ton of legendaries, but oddly enough I got three different versions of the same item… the Saffron Wrap. Apparently the game thinks I need a lot of belts… maybe it knows that I actually only have one in real life… that I keep punching new holes in as I lose weight. The score of the night came from when we beat Belial. There were several points through the night where we learned just how impressive “ignores durability loss” can be, as we took a number of chain deaths to freezing, poison bomberman, electrical orb mobs. The sad part of the evening however is that I no longer have my ghostly fallen champion pet, because I reached the point where I absolutely had to upgrade out of that axe.

The Final Factoid

Well as I was reminded by my wife, today is the final factoid. I have somehow made it through an entire month of writing these. As a result I think it is fitting that I close this factoid off with one relating to the purpose of this entire month. I do not like writing about myself, at least I do not like talking about personal details. Talking about gaming is a space of comfort for me, and I have no problem discussing me the gamer… but I always shy away from talking about me the person behind the screen. I guess in a way I feel like what I have to say about myself is pretty boring, and the more people know about me… the more likely they are to reject me as a friend. I grew up as an “only child”, and we lived just far enough out of the city limits to greatly limit the number of kids I had to play.

For years I craved having someone else to be there and play with, and that craving has carried through to my gaming life. I end up trying to collect people into my little digital family. I have deep anti-social tendencies that I struggle with, but online I can have just as much interaction with someone as I want, but then still be able to shut down the game, or twitter and walk away and have seclusion time as well. 2013 was a year of great personal growth for me. I completed NaNoWriMo, started the daily blogging thing and ended up losing 70 pounds. In a way Factoid February was a way of trying to get used to opening up and talking more about myself and my life in my blog. For the most part I think it has worked, and I did manage to complete the month writing something new each day. There were times I had to sit and think for quite a bit before deciding what to write about, but I struggled through.

The odd thing is… it seems as though people have enjoyed it. Looking through the blog statistics, it seems as though my average daily readership has increased a bit during the month of February. I am not sure if this is in part because I am writing more personally… or if I have just gotten more exposure thanks to the amazing folks who regularly retweet me like @RowanBlaze and @AlternativeChat. It gives me huge fuzzies when I see people are reading what I have written, but I have to say at this point… even if I had zero readers I would likely keep doing whatever it is I am doing. I find the process of waking up in the morning and dumping my thoughts onto the page while drinking my coffee amazingly therapeutic. On the weekends when I am forced to vary my schedule a bit, the day just does not seem entirely right… until I have done my blog purge. I want to thank all of you for coming along with me on this journey. Not entirely certain where I am going next, maybe more features… maybe more of the same, but I appreciate that you all are on the ride with me.

Playing With Dolls

February 26, 2014 by Belghast

Goodbye to Justice

Yesterday the ever amazing Qelric posted an interesting video surmising that Justice and Valor points may be on the way out. This of course was a conclusion drawn based on various tidbits of information that has been released over the last few days. I don’t think Blizzard is terribly happy with the current Justice/Valor situation, but in truth I think this is mostly because over the last couple of expansions they have lost sight on why it existed in the first place. The pinnacle of the system “working as intended” I feel arrived during Wrath of the Lich King. At that point if you were completely unlucky in getting the right dungeon drops, you could save up and eventually buy even set pieces with this “consolation currency”.

Sure it also modified how we viewed gear, since only certain pieces could be bought with valor but generally speaking you could get a two piece bonus with the current tier without actually having to rely on raid drops. I did not play much during the cataclysm era, so I cannot really recall how the system worked then, but during Pandaria it has changed into something mostly useless. The gear you can get with Valor is a much watered down version of what you can get through even the latest tier of LFR. As a result Valor has become a currency almost exclusively reserved for spending on item upgrades. So quite honestly… I don’t think the valor/item upgrade system is really working as intended either.

I feel like right now Blizzard is going through a lot of growing pains, in part due to the fact that there has been a fairly constant changing of the guards when it comes to decision making. I feel like we are seeing a classic case of “I don’t know what the original intent was, so lets just get rid of it.” As a programmer I completely understand this, since if you look at some code and you cannot fully grasp what is going on, the instinct is just to gut it and replace it with something that does make sense to you. As a result we are seeing a lot of these “re-writes” going on, tanking stats not working the way we want them… lets get rid of them. Juctice/Valor mutated in purpose over the last few expansions… well lets get rid of that too. I feel Justice points used to fill a niche that was highly needed in the game, so my hope is that we can return to the way things worked during Wrath.

Massive ESO Beta Weekend

For those who do not know already, this weekend there will be another massive beta test weekend over in The Elder Scrolls Online. They have also announced that by participating in the testing you will be eligible for an in game Monkey pet at release. Millions of beta keys have been sent out at this point, and most of them came with a buddy key attached. So hopefully all of you that are reading this will be in this weekends testing. I have my public beta client tested up and will be popping in to hang out with you all. If you are playing this weekend feel free to throw @Belghast a friend invite. You can do friends lists in two ways, either you can friend a specific character or you can friend the root account identifier. They follow twitter like syntax so prepend all account invites with the @ symbol.

I believe that weekend testers will be able to see first hand the new starter experience, as well as the new collision detection. This is something that had been in the works for awhile, but since it had also been a major weekend test complaint they were able to get the collision detection in before launch. Essentially now you can no longer run through NPCs, enemies and other players in PVE settings. This has been disabled for PVP however since managing collision detection with hundreds of players in the same area becomes problematic. Additionally and some of my readers will appreciate it, what were essentially Midi tracks have been replaced with the full orchestral equivalents. The game feels and sounds amazing.

I have a spare buddy key that I would love it to go to one of my readers. So if you are interested in testing this weekend, and do not mind downloading a roughly 30 gig beta client… post in the comments and we will figure out a way to get you the key. I think most everyone I know already has access to this test, and I look forward to seeing them all over the weekend.

Playing With Dolls

Yesterday my good friend @Gypsy_Syl posted the above video to twitter in response to another friend. Without really meaning to, she helped to pick out today’s factoid. As a kid I played with dolls, in fact I owned a Barbie and a Ken doll and eventually down the line a Cabbage Patch doll as well. I am thankful that my father didn’t make a big deal about it, and I obviously grew up no more scarred than any other kid is by their childhood choices. In part a good chunk of it is likely that I was “mostly” raised by women. My mom and dad were busy working all of the time, so my caretaker and playmate was my Grandmother, where I spent most of my early years. Next door there was a little neighbor girl, that became my best friend and constant companion.

So instead of forcing the issue and playing Gi-Joe or Star Wars, I just went with the flow and played whatever she wanted to play. While Crystal was not really a “doll” type, my cousin most definitely was. So I can remember playing barbies and strawberry shortcake and whatever else she wanted to play. At this young age I just got used to relating to women, and even today I am far more comfortable in the kitchen come holiday time than sitting around the living room having to pretend to know anything at all about sports. While I am 6’4” and have a mountain man beard and can generally pass as one… I am most definitely not the “manly man” archetype. So when it comes to long-term friendships, I tend to flock to either women or other guys like me that are not drenched in an overabundance of testosterone.

One of the things that frustrates me is that gender is associated with toys in the first place. The whole topic of boys playing with dolls started when another friend, @MMOGC mentioned that it was impossible to find pictures of girls playing with train sets. I have encountered the problem myself when dealing with Lego sets. It is damned near impossible to find Lego sets that include female minifigs. My niece has decided she is into lego, and while she is a huge fan of the “Friends” line of mutant minfigures… I am trying to also provide as many cool normal minifigs as I can in the process. While they exist freely in the minifigures packs, it is almost impossible to buy a Lego City set and see a woman performing any role there. Why can’t there be Women Fire Fighters or Police or hell… even Sanitation workers? Somewhere over the years it was decided apparently that Lego was a “boy toy”, and while there are “pink” Legos, they simply do not have the same variety as the normal kind. However I am still going to do my best to support the habit of building and creating things, even if it means the really cool stuff is harder to find.

Rise of the Trade Cartel

February 25, 2014 by Belghast

Starter Islands Optional

I hinted about this yesterday, but I have since checked in on the NDA and everything is cool to talk about. Currently up on test is a number of changes to designed to improve the game play experience for those who felt that it was simply too “tutorial” for too long. It would not be an Elder Scrolls game were it not for a prison sequence introduction. So you still spend your few moments in Cold Harbor but instead of being deposited on a “starter island” you are deposited in the city of Daggerfall, Davon’s Watch or Skywatch depending on your faction. Once again I use the term “starter island” but each faction has a slightly different setup. In this city you have the option of starting quests there, venturing out into the country side to kill random stuff or going back to the docks and returning to the starter island experience.

The end result definitely feels more like a traditional Elder Scrolls experience, as when you exit the prison introduction you are usually dumped out to decide your own fate. I will also say however that fending for yourself in Daggerfall for example, is significantly more difficult than working your way through Stros M’Kai. I worked my way through a series of the city quests, but several of them were rather difficult considering at this point you really do not have much by way of gear having just finished Cold Harbor. I will likely always do the Starter Islands, because I really like the experience… but for those players who were expecting a much more “manifest destiny” experience the way is now open.

I have to caveat all of this with “subject to change”, because this is still on the test servers and nothing that we are seeing is absolutely guaranteed to happen. However the complaint about the on rails beginning has been a constant thread throughout the various tests I have participated in. Zenimax is taking this criticism to heart and tweaking the game as a result. Really they have been extremely responsive to critique, and I’ve watched as a number of things have changed based on tester input. They do have a few holy grails that I wish they would abandon, but most of these are fixable with addons. I am not a huge fan of minimalistic user interfaces, so I know I will be modding the crap out of mine to display more information more clearly.

The Market Economy

I recently watched the latest of Beau Hindman’s series of Gamer Hangouts in which the show focused on Elder Scrolls Online. Actually he had asked if I wanted to join in, but since I do not have a webcam I opted out… something that should be resolved this week. One of the big concerns late in the show was what exactly the player driven economy would look like. While I am not auction house wizard, and I generally only have enough gold to keep my armor repaired… I can already see that Elder Scrolls as a whole is going to have a very craft centric economy. Firstly this game has probably the most detailed crafting system I have seen anywhere. This is primarily due to the heavy research component in the game. While Maevrim talked a bit about enchanting in the video, the bulk of my experience is with Blacksmithing.

As you move about the world you will get various dropped items, sometimes these items include a trait. For example you might get a dropped axe with the word “Precise” on it that means it increases melee and spell critical. Now you can deconstruct every item in the game for raw materials, and this is going to be key for getting some of the rarer crafting components, however there is a special kind of deconstruction you can do called research. This allows you to learn the trait from the item, and it takes a significant amount of time… namely the first trait you research for each weapon type takes a minimum of 5 hours, and increases from there. Since traits are unique to a weapon type, and there are currently eight for each type… it takes an extremely long amount of time to learn them all.

What this means is that by nature crafters will be forced to specialize, working on learning the traits that matter the most to them… or if they are purely motivated by profit… learning the ones that players want the most. So I fully expect to see people advertising themselves as a master axe-smith, or a master sword-smith… instead of a general purpose smith. Granted the game does not distinguish between the two, and given enough time and resources the same person could learn every single trait in the game. Additionally each player starts off crafting only their own racial style, but through the acquisition of dropped books they can learn to craft items in any style available. So basically the ability to craft specific items with a specific stat is predictable… but requires a huge amount of work on the crafters part.

What makes the system even more interesting is that the best gear can only be crafted in certain places. I talked about this awhile back, but this also factors into the economy. Essentially players will likely be paying that master sword smith to go with them to some forgotten crafting station so that they can have crafted the best item for their specific chosen build. Additionally since you can improve a crafted item from white to green, blue, purple or orange quality, I imagine there will be a brisk trade in the reagents needed for that. Trying to improve an item with limited resources gives you a very slim chance of success… and if you fail you end up destroying your shiny new bauble in the process. As a result players at the end of game will be wanting to make sure they pour enough of these reagents into every attempt to give them the highest chance of success. These reagents are likely going to be among the most frequently traded items, and folks who farm them will likely be a pillar of the player driven economy.

Rise of the Trade Cartel

One of the more interesting things of note about Elder Scrolls is that as far as I know there is no Auction House system. What they do have instead is an interesting system called the Guild Store. Once you have at least 10 members (someone correct me if I am wrong on the number) you can start to list things to sell to your guild members. Since guilds are account based, and you can be in multiple (current limit is 5 guilds) I have a feeling that we will be seeing a whole new kind of player driven economy. I fully expect we will see a rise of large Trade Cartel guilds that allow players access to a larger marketplace to sell their wares. This is a different line of thinking on how an economy should work, since these trade guilds would essentially be part tradechat and part auction house rolled into one.

I also feel like similar to games without auction house systems, we will see players congregating in cities offering up their wares. This happened in Everquest and most recently I saw this happening a lot with crafters in Final Fantasy XIV. Since gear is so granular and specific to however a player chooses to build their character, I really don’t see a huge market for “premade” items. I think the real money will be made doing custom order crafting, and these trade cartels will be the way to find crafters for those purposes. In every game I there have existed various groups that colluded to control segments of the economy… so it will be interesting to see exactly how this plays out in a game that supports entirely player driven markets. I don’t really have the knack for this sort of thing, but I do hope I have some friends that do, because it will be interesting to see played out.

Of Bel and Grudges

Today’s factoid came to me in an interesting fashion last night. I had been playing Belganon my little Warlock, and was just about to shut down for the night when I saw a shout from a player name I recognized. He was trying to get people to run all nine challenge modes in one night for the purpose of getting gold in each. His message was a little oddly worded, and while I doubt he intended it… it sounded a bit like he was wanting to be carried through them. Granted my personal feelings towards the individual likely colored my interpretation. Thing is, once upon a time I raided with him in Vanilla, and while I thought he was a bit of a jerk… I always figured he was just mostly misunderstood. When he came back to our server during Wrath of the Lich King, he joined one of the uber guilds at the time… but since he was not well enough geared to raid with them, he pestered me for an invite to Duranub Raiding Company. During the middle of the raid, he was talking in a social channel about us… and said that he was slumming with us until he could get a real raid.

I punted him from the raid and have not talked to him since. He desperately tried to back pedal in tells, but the damage was already done… he was worthless to me. Just seeing his name come across chat brought up this boiling cauldron of anger. I still hold a grudge against him for his actions, and while he may have matured or changed… I will never know, because I will never give him another chance. The weird thing is… had he just done something that was only against me… I would likely be waiting to forgive him over and over. When you do something however that negatively effects a person or group of people that I care about… my protective instincts kick in and I will forever hold a grudge over it. I realize this is not a healthy behavior, but it is just something I have never been able to let go of. So I have a catalog of people that have wronged my guild or my friends, and every time I see that name or someone mentions one of them this flood of anger washes over me that I have to force back down. So while I cannot seem to root this instinct out of me… I can do my best not to act upon it.