Since this is my first week back for the New Year when I am not in “holiday mode” I am starting to think about all of the assorted topics that one does at the beginning of a new year. I’ve never been very big into making New Years Resolutions, but from time to time the construct seems interesting to me. Given this is also the beginning of a new decade it seems as though it maybe has some greater importance. What I do this year may or may not set the tone for what the rest of the decade is going to look like. As such this morning I am going to share some tweaks that I would like to make in my life for the coming year.
Give Up the Chase
In the year 2000, I got indoctrinated by one of my friends into a little game called Everquest. From that point it feels like I have been chasing the one game to rule them all, or at least the one true game to devote all of my love and attention to. This has been Everquest, Dark Age of Camelot, City of Heroes, Horizon, World of Warcraft, Warhammer Online, Rift, Star Wars the Old Republic and countless other titles that I have placed upon the burden of being my prime source of entertainment. For the last two decades, the majority of my gaming time has been spent pouring resources and hours into a seemingly endless game hoping it would capture my attentions and hold them in perpetuity.
The problem here is that it never really works out and I have had a lot of amazing “honeymoon periods” with new games, in which I will pour my heart and soul for three months before wandering off disillusioned and jaded. In the Post-MMORPG world these have been games like Destiny or Anthem or even Monster Hunter World where I kept trying to make them into something that they were not necessarily intended to be. So in this coming year and decade I hope to stop looking for this magical thing that doesn’t exist. I want to allow myself to enjoy the games while they are enjoyable and fade away without guilt when they stop being that.
Stop Leading the Masses
I have this natural instinct and desire to collect awesome people and drag them along with me in whatever I happen to be doing. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it has been the source of my “gaming community” for the last two decades. However going hand in hand with the first statement, I need to stop trying to make magic happen again. Everquest and World of Warcraft were moments in history that may not ever be able to be repeated. I need to stop trying to enter each new online gaming experience and try and make it into something more than it actually is. I have this bad habit of trying to “unite the clans” and get them rallied under a single banner, and then feeling super distraught and guilty when this amalgam of all of these people that I think are awesome never quite mesh together into a larger resilient community.
When we launched House Stalwart in Elder Scrolls Online we had something silly like 150 people on opening day and this was absolutely unsustainable in both just the case of human interaction or trying to make that many people exist in the same space. Then when a month later that it is down to 50 people… which is still a reasonable sized group I end up getting disappointed and frustrated that I could not somehow make everyone stick around. The binge and purge nature of new games and the guilds/clans I have built around them ends up leading to a spiral of depression and guilt that I just don’t need in my life. As a result my hope is that I can somehow stop myself from picking up that mantle of leadership in the future, because it only ends up leading to heartbreak when I can’t live up to the standards I have built up in my brain.
Play More Single Player Games
It was extremely evident when I was pulling together the list of my top games of the decade… that there are a ton of critically acclaimed games that I have never touched. Last of Us for example is by all accounts a phenomenal and game changing experience, and I have never actually played it. The reasons are many but at the end of the day I wind up getting caught up in chasing the forever game and spend all of my time in those sort of experiences rather than knocking out anything single player. I really want to somehow reverse that trend and start playing more of the games that are sitting collecting dust in my backlog that I picked up on sale at some point but never really gave the time of day.
Similarly I would also like to start finishing some of the things that I started but bounced for some reason or another. Jedi Fallen Order for example is a phenomenal game experience and I have no clue at all why I stopped playing it. I need to get back in and figure out where I left off and continue the adventure. In no particular order here are some of the games that I would like to play and or finish this calendar year.
- Last of Us
- Jedi Fallen Order
- Wolfenstein II: New Colossus
- The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings
- Darksiders
- God of War
- Assassin’s Creed Odyssey
- Cyberpunk
- Dragon Age Inquisition
- Red Dead Redemption 2
- Sleeping Dogs
- Uncharted (collection)
I realize that is a lot of things on that list and it doesn’t account for my whims but it is a goal. These are some things that I would love to spend more time playing.
Read More Books
Over the last two decades I have allowed myself to get out of the habit of reading for personal enjoyment. There are series that I am well hooked on that I will snatch up a new title for and read when it comes out like the Dresden novels, but the total volume of my reading is pretty limited. It is a weird sequence of circumstances and as I have moved away from consuming physical content as a whole… I never quite transitioned books in this direction. For awhile it was because I lacked what I considered a comfortable tablet to read on, and then when I did get that thing I wound up just playing mobile games on it before bed. With my recent obsession about the Witcher universe and trying to consume those novels I am almost rediscovering how enjoyable and relaxing knocking out a few chapters before sleep can be.
My wife is a voracious reader and over the Christmas break she consumed over twenty novels. I am nowhere near as quick or consistent as I will always prefer game time to time with a book. That is not to say that I don’t also enjoy time with a book, and it is my goal this coming year to just keep something queued and progressing. I realize I have a lot of Witcher novels in front of me, but I would also really like to read some Brandon Sanderson because it is something I have never done. I feel like I have a hefty backlog of things I know I “should” read but never got around to. I may actually start using Good Reads as a way of tracking this, just for the sake of having something easily attached to the blog.
Take Better Care of Myself
I am a fat man and will likely always be a fat man. This is just who I am as a person and I lack the desire to change that. However I need to do something because I am currently the largest I have ever been. In many ways it is keeping me from living the sort of life that I want to live. I am not entirely sure what this is going to entail but I want to make some effort to change this. I need to sit down with my wife and make some lifestyle changes in order to support this, and as a result I am being vague for the moment because I am not entirely certain what that is going to look like. I always skimp on exercise in part because I keep trying to play forever games and keep trying to make myself available to lots of different time zones worth of friends when they are available. I need to stop this and spend more time on improving me.
Go To BlizzCon
I am not sure if this is realistic this year or not, but I would like to go to a BlizzCon. I would like to experience it in person and meet up with my various long time friends who are Blizzard devotees. This coming year seems like it is going to factor heavily into Diablo 4… the Blizzard franchise that I care the most about and as a result I think I would really like to be there. Factoring into the previous statement, I need to get to a size where air travel will not be horrible for me in order to make this even a viable option. Anaheim is a really far distance away and as a result there is no reasonable option that sees me taking a road trip to get there. So contingent on the previous statement, I would love to figure out a way to make this work in November or whenever it happens to be occurring this year.
Revive Bel Folks Stuff
Several years back I had a monthly podcast where I sat down with various friends and had a dialog about things and stuff. I greatly enjoyed this process but found the scheduling to be madness and the fact that it felt like no one was actually listening ultimately caused me to stop doing this. It never really seemed to gain any sort of traction, I guess in part because it was super niche and you either new these people I cared about or you didn’t. So one of the things I have been kicking around for awhile is trying to figure out a way to revive this. Maybe record an entire season of episodes before releasing them, making it less of a stretch of trying to figure out how to schedule them. I also think I might want to shift the format to where I ask a fixed set of questions that are of course open ended enough to allow for random discussions to happen. I am not even sure this is going to happen but I figure it is worth trying to make happen. For those curious the original run can still be found on the AggroChat site, and there are seven total episodes.
I’ve tried to move my gaming circle to other games, never with any real success. The group coalesced in World of Warcraft’s first year or two. It’s back together, mostly, in WoW Classic. I’ve tried to ‘recruit’ people to play other MMOs for a change of scenery – LOTRO, Rift, SWTOR, Neverwinter, Elder Scrolls Online with very little lasting success. They all drift back to WoW at some point (or vanished off online gaming completely). These were small, personal efforts, never anything larger scale like a guild setup.
I don’t even try to find an “All the Time” game now, if I end up in that situation because of others I find it quickly annoying – I want variety in my gaming and always have. Given the amount that has been written about finding the next Everquest or the WoWKiller over the many years in-between, I suspect I’m in the minority.
“So in this coming year and decade I hope to stop looking for this magical thing that doesn’t exist. I want to allow myself to enjoy the games while they are enjoyable and fade away without guilt when they stop being that.”
Krikket’s concept of ‘Play to Satisfaction’ helped me a great deal here. In essence it is the idea of playing for as long as a game is enjoyable. Whether or not that means finishing it. If it is no longer enjoyable, or holding prospect of joy — let it go. On the other hand, if it’s still providing joy and you want to 100% it, don’t let ‘the backlog’ weigh you down and prevent you from doing so.
Having said that — I still get the inclination. I thought I was well and truly ‘over’ looking for the forever game ages ago. Then Anthem earlier in the year had me dreaming that maybe that could be the one. The one with a solid enough base and a steady enough content flow to go the distance.
sigh
Anyway, ‘Play to Satisfaction’ is just how I’d like to think about everything now.
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re: Reading and Sanderson in particular — Sanderson is an extremely prolific author. The Cosmere that threads through his adult fantasy books is amazing. His prose I find to be very variable quality, but the stories are almost always fantastic.
I always wondered how you had time for mobile games as well! I can just never fit them anywhere. But then I drive to/from work so no public transport time and going to sleep I read rather than do anything on Mobile. It does mean I basically never play on mobile, nor am I particularly good with keeping up with social media.
Definitely sacrifices, but I prefer the reading overall I think. Certainly happy to offer some suggestions if you’d like too — although my Goodreads is woefully out of date (asides from what my kindle auto-updates, lol).
Congratulations to your wife! Twenty novels over the Christmas period is a huge number, even if you stretch the holiday to the whole of December. I remember reading a few years back that the average number of books read per year by people considered to be active readers was something like three to five. Hang on… here we go…
https://www.irisreading.com/how-many-books-does-the-average-person-read/
That was the report I was thinking of. Interestingly, to me at least, even though the article says “The ugly truth is that Americans as a whole lag behind most of the rest of the world when it comes to reading books” you are actually ahead of the U.K. according to the “hours per week” chart. Working in a bookshop I get a highly selective sample but even so I’m surprised we come in so low.
You can get into decent shape, you just have to sacrifice an hour or so a day of gaming time. Find a balance that works and consistently plug away at it….even if its just walking. Try a food service like Fit&Lean…eat healthier and save time.
While you were out chasing the holy grail, I was playing through those games. 😛
Though I do need to take a look at Sleeping Dogs. I loved everything on your list, except for maybe wolfenstein.
eat well to look good. work out to look good naked.
I’m starting to wonder if the 900 pound gorilla in the World of Warcraft room is that it is never ending. There isn’t a point where you can say Woo Hoo, finally beat it. Have we reached a point where they have pushed it too far. I mean 15 years ago they probably never thought it would go 3 expansions, but then with money rolling in why not keep going. Maybe there was a thought around the table to take it to level 100 and stop. I’m sure there are only a handful of people that may know they whole story. But it feels like we are in that last season of Lost, where we are past ready for it to be over.
I can relate to a lot that’s in this post, Bel. A while back, I gave up on trying to do the round-up as well. I’ve run a number of games with the same people, and tried to give us a home in each, however it’s simply not feasible any more… and frankly, I just don’t have the energy any longer. I’m more than happy just to be a member of a guild. I even refuse officer ranks. I don’t want the expectations. I just want to play silly games.
Likewise with single player games. I’m currently playing Outer Worlds (though not exactly enjoying it). I want to scratch a bunch off my list so I don’t feel so damn guilty looking at that massive list in my GOG Galaxy client.
As for the weight issue, I’ve also decided I really need to get back into better shape. For me that involves doubling down on my physio as my knees have been on a steady decline.
No interest in Blizzcon, though. Like… none. I legitimately don’t understand the appeal, but that’s subjective and I get that just cause it isn’t for me, doesn’t mean it isn’t for others.
I’ll check out that original run of Bel Talks. I’ve been thinking about a bunch of possible new podcasts I’d love to work on, however until I get my physio under control, I can’t even manage to keep my one under a tighter schedule.
Still, it’s fun to think about.